Dragon Square last event "Mega Battle"

Had a blast at the Fantasy mega battle, not often that you get to see 20,000 points of fantasy on the table !
The side of Evil was represented by:
Nate - Dark elves ( more power dice than you can shake a stick at )
Chris - Dark Elves ( 2 hydras ! )
Some other guy - Ogres ( err...ogres )
Me- Tomb Kings ( not VC )

Side of "good" :
Cosmo - Empire ( stank pope mobile )
Mat - Lizardmen ( 2 engine of the gods loving )
Izzy - Dwarves ( fast midgets, nough said )
Dale - Bretonians ( dale brought real lances this time )

We played on several tables together with cosmo deploying on another table with some crazy shooting and movement rules, the pairings were : Me vs Mat, Izzy vs Nate, Chris vs Dale, Ogres vs Cosmo.

Things started weird when the Dorfs activated the rune of Sneakers and got a free amrch move before the game began, nver seen midgets run so fast. The side of "good" got to go first and fannonbals started flying left and right, even though i got like 6 cannons shooting at me i only lost one chariot! ( it also helped that izzy misfired all 4 of his cannons on the bounce ) a couple of cold one knights on Nates side bit the dust.

Our turn didnt see much happening ( at least that i was aware off ) my king flew and pointed at the Lord Kermit calling him his bish ready to get a magical charge, prince on chariot unit did the same on a Steg, our magic was an epic failure the only good spell that went off was my prince flanking the steg with his chariots, the dorfs got overconfident ,in the way that only a drunk midget with a big axe can, and thought they could easely dispell and promtly rolled a ONE, my king was left all alone in the middle of the Lizzies army. Shooting saw 2 razordons fall prey to a catapult. hand to hand my prince couldnt get a grip on his flail and totally missed his attacks, the mules somehow climbed the side of the Steg and killed a couple of skinks ( i love my undead mules ). Nates remaining COKs charged a block of Dwarf warriors of Doom ( you'll see why later ) they bounced of the midgets without killing any of them i think ( they prob got sold the rubber lances that dale left behind )

Second turn for the care bear side was pretty good from what i saw, one unit of saurus charge the rear of my poor defenseles chariots, a HUGE conga line of Grail knigths smahed into Chris poor peaceloving Dark elves and Mats terradons charged my ramining cat. Magic didnt do much again Mat catapulted his Scar-vet to my side trying to charge my catapult but he got stuck in the mid of my lines. Shooting saw one of my poor SSCs get blown off by a cannon and Dale landed a nice hit on one of the Hydras taking it down to just 1 wound! And my poor King got shot by like 35 skinks and the remaining razordon, those damn poison ( how the hell can you poison soemone dead is beyond me ) shots got him .From what i was able to see Cosmo was having fun shooting the Ogres to pieces. A lot of things died in hand to hand, my prince chariot unit got dead but the prince survived with one wound and took the Priest down!! the grail knights got involved in a grinder with Chris's unit of something for a while. The terradons couldnt do jack to the cat and my crew did what crew does and didnt kill anyone either.

Our turn saw my 2 scorpions and 2 swarms come out of the ground and charge ! 2 swars and a scorp charged Hamburger Hill where cosmo had place 5 cannons .. FIVE ! my other corp went to visit the midgets and give them a nasty handshake, chris attacked the Dorf warrior block with one of his Hydras on the flank and the other Hydra charged the Grail knights on the flank, i tried to charge some skinks by they didnt want anything to do with my chariots and ran away, my Ushabit ( horribly placed ) charged the terradons on the flank and my unit of Skel warriors turned to face the rear of the Scar-Vet. Magic i was able to get urgency off and charge the Scar vet my other urgency on my chariots was dispelled, dark elf magic didnt do much again ( horrible rolls ! ). I shot some arrows at some Sauruses and a hail of arrows from the Dark elves didnt see anything dead i think. hand to hand the Terradons got owned and my prince got anally raped by 10 foot long saurus spears , the Scar-vet ran as fast as he could but my Hierophant with his skells cuahgt up to him and turned him into a nice pair belts. The Dwarf warriors of doomed didnt run even though they were flanked by a hydra, more dark elves and grail knights died. Scorpion and swarns owned the cannon crews and the other scorp got to shave some dorf beards.

Turn 3: Magic doesn nothing from what i can see, shooting sees the scorp facing the dorfs get killed by grapeshot and the engi shooting it through the eye with one pistol shot ( alas mr pinchy, he shall be remembered fondly ) more ogres died to empire shooting ( they did that a lot ) hand to hand sees the grail knights i think win combat and break the hydra but like one elf stayed alive, the warriors of doom still hold vs the hydra on their flank.

Evil turn 3: swarm ( one died ) charges a cannon, chariot charges a unit of saurus on the front, carrion charge same unit on the side ( bunch of skinks are fleeing ) Chris charges a big unit into side of Grail knigthts, Nates wytches charge a dorf unit on the front unit of corsairs charge some Xbowmen. Magic
( meh ) shooting cat shoots and missifires and kills itself !! repeater xbow impales the remaining priest on the Engine and his misses his 2+ ward save and dies like the cheesy abstard he is !! (great shot Nate !! )
poor chris is getting overrun by the Bret freight train cant help him as he's on the other side of the table.
Nates COKs charge the front of the warriors of doom. hand to hand sees my uber chariots and flying Carrion ( kaw kaw kaw kaw ! ) inflict heavy losses ( mules killed 3 ! ) on the saurus they break and get killed by chariots who overrun into the razordon, warriors of doom still hold .. wytches get brutally raped ( to their delight ) swarm looses combat by one vs the cannon crew.

Turn 4: Steg charges shades, steg charges spearmen with sorceres who run and get run down down
( screams of pleasure from the sorceres as giant leathery testicles crush her to death ) pope mobile and stank are bowling for Ogres. magic sees Dale beast cowers the hydra on the flank of the warriors of doom, dont think anything else happens. Shooting, none that i saw. Combat, the warriors of doom break the Hydra and the COKs ( wtf?!?! ) swarm and scorp OWN Hamburger hill ( reports of a scorp humping a cannon were denied by the scorp ) steg eats the shades and runs into the frenzied corsairs, dale keeps on spearing Chris's poor elves.

Turn 4 evil side: i have a unit of skells charge the side of the Steg on the corsairs, dont think anything else happend. Magic goes MEH. Shooting MEH. Hand to hand breaks the steg and runs it down i think the last of the Ogres gets steam rolled by the Stank and the Pope mobile.

GAME ENDS

Was a pretty good fight, but the broken Care Bear Forces win the day by like 3000 points !! I think we didtn do to bad considering there were 10 cannons looking at us Good way to end the time at the Dragon !

Wow ... that sounded like I missed a great time... oh well.


This was the best part of your report Luis.

( screams of pleasure from the sorceres as giant leathery testicles crush her to death )

Ovich wrote:Wow ... that sounded like I missed a great time... oh well.


This was the best part of your report Luis.

( screams of pleasure from the sorceres as giant leathery testicles crush her to death )

Thank you thank you. It was pretty damn cool, i was amazed we got 4 full turns in the time we had, that rule where shots from one table curved and came from the side of the other one was pretty damn freaky !

Wish I could have made it