Things in films that...just don't make sense in movies

My point is that this credibility gap had been stretched to its limit in the original trilogy:

* Luke is rescued from the sand people by an old wizard who knew his mysterious long-lost father. OK.
* They are trapped on a space station which has imprisoned the princess who started all this off - and rescue her. OK - this is an adventure film.
* Old man is killed by his nemesis Dath Vader. OK.
* Luke destroys the space station, narrowly avoiding being killed by Vader. OK, cos he's the hero.
* Luke's nemesis, Darth Vader, is Luke's father after all. Shock! Brilliantly done.
* Luke is actually the brother of the princess who started all this off. Deep breath....OK. Not really necessary for the story, but OK. Fine, trilogy ends. That's about as far as my willing suspension of disbelief can take it, even as a ten year old.


Cut to 20 years later (real time), or 30 years before (movie time):

* Luke & Leia's mother is the ruler of a planet, who's ambassador is the future evil Emperor. OK. Not strictly necessary, but my suspension of disbelief accepts this because I'm going to see some spaceship battles later.
* Major original character R2D2 is a repair robot on her spaceship. OK, cos we know in the original story he has history with the goodies.
* Luke's father lives on the same desert planet that Luke grew up on. OK, I suppose, after all Luke was brought up by his uncle, who is presumably related.
* Major original character C3P0, who knows over 6 million languages, has been built out of spare parts by Luke's father as a side project. WHAT. Why does C3P0 end up looking like (and is named like) every other protocol droid in the galaxy, despite them presumably being made in actual factories? How does Anakin teach C3P0 six million languages? Make him read a LOT of phrasebooks? My suspension of disbelief really wants to know when the lightsabre fights are going to happen.
* Major orginal characters the Stormtroopers are clones of the father of major original character Boba Fett. Splutter. My S.O.D. wonders if it is Lucas' writing or Hayden's acting which make him appear so wooden.
* Anakin does something so ludicrously out of character it is laughable. It has to happen because we already know he has to end up evil by the end of film 3. However in 1999 we thought it was going to take 3 films to get there, rather than a conversation in an opera house most of the way through film 3. Fortunately, my S.O.D. is in the foyer buying more popcorn, and doesn't notice any of this.
* Yoda fights the bad robots, on a jungle planet. All is well until the new stormtroopers turn on him. He escapes with the help of one of the natives. This native just happens to be the co-pilot of the space ship which Luke will randomly board in 20 years time to inadvertently rescue his long-lost sister he has never heard of. My suspension of disbelief spills its popcorn everywhere.

I get "there is no such thing as luck", but the midichlorians must have been working overtime here. The ludicrous and pointless coincidences stopped me enjoying the film as much as I would have done otherwise.

Smeagol finding the ring is acceptable, because the ring is magical, sort of sentient, and wants to be found. It doesn't matter who finds it, because it will corrupt them and alert its true owner when he has regenerated sufficiently to reclaim it. This does not challenge a willing suspension of disbelief. Having Smeagol turn out to be Frodo's long-lost great grandfather would have been stupid.

Pulp fiction intertwining is also acceptable. IIRC there aren't any co-incidences in it, beyond Bruce Willis and Marcellus spotting each other after one has double-crossed the other. Not that surprising, because Bruce has gone back to his apartment at the same time that Marcellus (secretly waiting for him) has popped out for some lunch. Bruce meets John Travolta at Marcellus' HQ (not surprising) and later on at Bruces apartment. Since Travolta is a thug working for Marcellus, this is not a coincidence. Aside from this, none of the characters who are strangers to each other actually meet more than once. Once again, the S.O.D. is not disturbed.

I am legend:

Didn't the doc say that all the bridges around the island were blown? Well, how the hell did that woman and her child manage to get there with a car? Flew it over the water?

And how did she manage to get her car so clean the whole trip when she left New York to go to the safe haven? It is very, very shiny and clean when she finally arrives at the safe haven.

The Day After Tomorrow:

I'll just name a few out of the dozens of mistakes. How did Jack and his buddy manage to walk by the Statue of Liberty? That means that he would had to walk first over the ocean to the East, then North, then back West and pass the Statue before entering New York.

Next, first they showed a few helicopters flying towards/over New York. They ended up finding Sam's group walking away towards Europe over the ocean (...), heading East. Suddenly hundreds of people swamp over the skyscrapers who have been hiding and have survived the storms/cold. Then there are dozens and dozens of helicopters flying around.

Also, how did they manage to fly all the way from Mexico to New York? I doubt they would have had enough fuel for that journey, although don't quote me on that. And why New York? Why not cities hundreds if not thousands of kilometres closer?

The new Star Wars trilogy is one of the worst pieces of film I've ever seen, particularly the second one. You want to talk suspension of disbelief? I had to somehow belief Princess What's-Her-Face is somehow not creeped out by Anakin's whole "I met you when I was ten and have gone through the entirety of puberty and my teen years in a whole other planet thinking of no one but you and loving no one but you I love you" speech. I'm sorry, but if that's not crazed stalker talk, I don't know what is.

Also, Yoda fighting? Come on. Here is how I envision Yoda fighting really being like:

Yoda looks at you. You die. Probably stabbed yourself with your own goddamn light saber, you twit.

None of this whole "gremlin hopped up on amphetamines" bullshit.

And I loved how Anakin turned to the dark side. "Oh no! What have I done!!" (pause for breath) "Yes master, I will serve you." What, did the script read "Internal struggle between good and evil in your soul" or some other shit that can't be acted?

Bah.

"Also, how did they manage to fly all the way from Mexico to New York? I doubt they would have had enough fuel for that journey, although don't quote me on that. And why New York? Why not cities hundreds if not thousands of kilometres closer?"

#1 rule of movies: everything happens in/to New York. I'm sorry, but according to Hollywood, the moment the shit hits the fan, New York is going to be the first to take it in the mouth.

Bill, you have to much time on your hands!

The Phantom menace was absolutely abysmal. The only cool part in the whole movie is when Trade Federation Chinaman A, turns to Trade Federation Chinaman B, and says, " you let a Jedi aboard this ship? we are all going to die"

that and all of Darth Maul's scenes. But that's about it.

Worst Part ? When Anakin is flying in the space battle shooting enemy ships and exlaiming " COOL" like he's playing a fucking video game.

Marketing scam.